5 Red Flags That Exist in Online Dating That You Should Never Ignore
For someone new who just joined any online dating Apps, things can be so much fun. But when you’re in it long enough, you’ll begin to notice that life inside it isn’t truly roses and butterflies all the time.
Just because now you’re on dating online apps, that doesn’t make it easier for you to find the right person quickly. It still takes time — just how it applies in real life. And too many times, we fell in love with the people who weren’t right for us. We tried to make it work purely based on the “strong chemistry” we have with them.
But great chemistry doesn’t equal happiness in a relationship.
Don’t fool yourself into believing in that one aspect only. There are lots of factors that can determine whether someone’s right for you or not, and when it comes to online dating, people become too quick to make a decision without considering the red flags in the beginning.
For the past two years since I started observing how’s online dating works for people of any age, it’s still heart-breaking how many of them ended up getting catfished and simply disappointed because their dates showed up differently from what they portrayed in the App.
If you’re still in the online dating pool right now, here are the red flags you should never ignore, no matter how “normal” it seems in society.
1. They Like To String You Along
People who have an avoidant attachment style tend to do this without them realizing it. So it’s expected that you get confused about what they actually want from you when you meet someone like this.
I’ve met a guy back then who acted like he wanted to settle down with me but then, on some days, I questioned his intention because something just felt off. He didn’t want to let me go, but he couldn’t act like I mattered that much either. Over time, I learned that people like this don’t know what the heck they actually want (and it’s not your job to help them figure it out).
They show it they like you but only in half. Sure, we can argue that it doesn’t make sense to get “committed” right away when meeting someone new online, but at some point, you need to know if he/she really likes you or just want to keep you as a backup.
2. The Commitment Issues
This is only applicable if you want someone to settle down with. If you just want casual hookups, then you may skip this part. In too many cases, women are the ones who become the victim of this commitment issue. She’s with someone who told them boldly from the very beginning that he doesn’t want a relationship, yet she’s still there waiting (for years even).
Most men sometimes like to give me their opinion on this issue. He thinks that such a woman who wishes her partner to change his mind and commit to her isn’t smart enough. It happens a lot more nowadays. They want to get laid (or maybe a casual dating) but the girl would want to jump into a serious relationship right away.
And of course, the percentage that these men ended up changing their minds is very, very small.
That’s why if you happen to meet someone you like online, it doesn’t matter how cute/hot they’re, if you don’t think they want the same thing as you do, then you shouldn’t bother to wait for them.
3. The Inconsistency Behavior
This includes bombarding you with so much love today, and then they’re gone the next day. Suddenly they are too “busy” to talk to you.
When being confronted, they give you wishy-washy reasons that just don’t add up. You’ll notice with someone who has inconsistent behavior, they’ll try their best to make your stay, but once you do, they’ll be back into their old behavior.
This can be the most mentally exhausting dating experience if you’re someone with anxious attachment styles like me. Because then you’ll start blaming yourself for their inconsistency.
“Am I not interesting enough? That’s why they’re ghosting me?”
It’s important to let them go as early as you can because think of it this way; this inconsistent behavior shows how much they respect your time & energy, so if you proceed further with them, that’s pretty much the relationship is going to be. And you’ll be the one who suffers from it.
4. The Lazy & Shady People
Guys’ favorite line is, “we can Netflix and chill at my place”
They don’t want to take you out, and they don’t bother going on proper lunch dates with you. You need to be the one who comes to them. It’s so hard to see what’s the issue with this behavior in the beginning because “spending time with them” is all that matters, right? As long as you’re with him, then it’s okay.
But it actually shows how much effort they’re willing to put for you. And you don’t want to be with someone like this. It all becomes your job to keep the relationship going in the future. On the other hand, when your date says they can’t meet you in public without giving you a specific reason, that also means they aren’t truly honest with you. They might hide something from you, and you’ll never know until you confront them about it.
5. The Narcissistic
Nothing is worse than meeting some narcissistic online. I’d avoid it at all costs.
There are just so many problems with seeing someone like this. First, you can never be their priority. It’s always about them, and you’re expected to fulfill the void inside them. Second, when things don’t work out, the blame is on you. They will never admit their mistakes because it hurts their ego. This obviously will make you feel bad about yourself — which you really shouldn’t in the first place.
But it’s hard to know all this when you’re already with them.
I’ve dated a narcissist before, and it didn’t take long for me to lose myself trying to make him stay. The thing about it is people like this can be the most charming person you’ve ever met (that’s why you fell for them) but then, over time, once the butterfly feelings fade away, you’ll realize how bad they are actually for your mental health.
The Bottom Line
Dating online is not for everyone. With the horror stories many people have experienced, it’s no surprise that more people are leaving the online dating pool nowadays. So you don’t have to be part of it and waste any more time.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t meet your soulmate. If you’re single and ready to mingle, why not try our matchmaking solution?
We help many single people find their life partner, and unlike in online dating Apps where you’d get ghosted a lot, here at Capital City Exclusive, you’ll have a higher chance to find someone genuinely interested in you just as much as you do. Contact Capital City Exclusive now at (916) 949–5133 or send an email to us at firstname.lastname@example.org to meet quality singles in Sacramento.